Quick Funnies

haha

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
“I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”
~~~~~

At pilot’s training back in the Air Corps they taught us,
“Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make.”
~~~~~

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend’s house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy’s mother looked straight into his eyes and said,
“I hope you didn’t ask for a second piece of cake.”
“No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking.”

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~

As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald’s one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son,
“We should pray.”
From the back seat I heard his earnest request:
“Please, God, don’t let those cars block the entrance to McDonald’s.”
~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere.
~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

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