Imagine being on a date. She looks awesome because she took the time to dress up, prepare her hair and accessorize. She smiles and talks about her day. Warm fuzzy feelings start emanating from within your heart. There`s this shining aura around her head and that smile of hers€¦ it makes your blood circulate around your body in half a second.
All throughout the date, when you are talking, you look at the floor, the table, the decorative tree in the restaurant, the spoon, the food, the ceiling, the sky.
It`s ridiculous reading that last line but I`ve seen plenty of guys do it on dates.
Giddy Guy €“ Too happy to go on the date. In a state of euphoria, he can`t recognize that his emotions is getting the better of his actions. He`s totally hyped up that nothing seems boring or mundane. The air smells better, the colors of the restaurant walls seems more vibrant, the ceiling begins to look like a painting of Michaelangelo. Everything becomes an exciting distraction.
Nervous Wreck €“ Lost in his mind. Keeps thinking of what to say. Knows that he needs to be funny at times but don`t know anything funny to say. She says something and he doesn`t have any good replies or sharing. The mind start to think and the eyes start to wander. He starts to unfocus his sight, drift off in his mind to strategize, and think to himself.
Gripping Fear €“ She is the most beautiful person in the world! Every time she looks at you, it`s like it`s piercing through your head. There`s this wave €˜force` that crashing onto your face when she smiles. You`re afraid of doing something crazy, saying something stupid, so you try to control your reactions by reducing eye contact. Look at the floor, you tell yourself, the floor is safe, the floor doesn`t give me emotions that are alien to me and hard to control.
Self Pity €“ What in the world are you doing here? You`re a worm! You`re gonna fail, leave a bad impression, make such a huge blunder that she`ll end up hating your guts. I don`t deserve to be here. I don`t deserve to look at her face. I`m a horrible person, I`m less than nothing, those eyes will see how wretched I am!
Whatever your reasons, and I don`t have a sure solution here or a clever trick that you can use (maybe in a future article). One thing you still have to do:-
MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT WHEN YOU TALK TO HER
In fact don`t just look at her eyes, pick an eye and stick with it. Better yet, focus at the center of the black pool in her eye.
Phenethylamine (PEA) is an alkaloid and monoamine. In the human brain, it is believed to function as a neuromodulator. Remember that feeling of falling in €˜love`, PEA mimics that. Found also in chocolate, it can relieve depression by acting as a mood elevator! Ever look away when someone looks at you? Feel uncomfortable? That`s because your brain is producing PEA and you don`t want to encourage the feeling in just anybody.
Ofcourse this is not a love potion. But since you`ll be going on dates with her and you spend hours at a time, imagine how many times, and how long you`ll have face to face contact.
Establishing eye contact is part of the basics. It seems small when you do it once, but do it hundreds of times, it`s going to make a long-term impression. Example: Like sports, basketball, everyone wants to slam-dunk, but most of the work is in dribbling and passing of which without it, there is no basketball.
Without eye contact, most of the time, there can be no chemistry.
How do you make her feel? Establishing eye-contact also makes her feel respected. It makes her feel you being attentive, treating her as the most important person, most worthy of your attention at the time. If she is that special to you, than look at her as you talk. Stare into her eyes and let her know that she is the most special woman anywhere. With your eyes, tell her that she stands out and shines above the rest.
When you talk to her, talk to her. Don`t let her wonder if you`re talking to yourself, lost in your own thoughts, spending the time on a date with yourself.
Even if some of the things she says might not be that interesting, but at least through your commitment to providing her with your absolute attention, she`ll know that to you, she`s worth the effort.
- She sees your eye contact and maintains it€¦ when she smiles, you made it.
- She looks away. Understandable, if you guys have a great talk, she`ll be more comfortable to maintain eye-contact longer.
- It`s kinda like an indicator of your progress, when she likes you more, she`ll be familiar with your face and your eyes. She`ll enjoy looking at you and associate your face(you) with all the great things she grown to learn about you and experienced with you.
Do a self examination. Try to find out how many percent of the time, you look at her. 10%? 30 – 40%? It needs to be around 85-95% and this time, look into her eye.