Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!” ~ Samuel 12:7
Many people avoid confrontation. Some fear being disliked and rejected. Others are afraid confrontation will make things worse by creating anger and resentment in the person they confront. But avoiding confrontation always worsens the situation.Confrontation can be a win-win situation, a chance to help and develop your people if you do it with respect and with the other person’s best interests at heart. Here are ten guidelines to help you confront positively:
1. Confront ASAP.
2. Address the wrong action, not the person.
3. Confront only what the person can change.
4. Give the person the benefit of the doubt.
5. Be specific.
6. Avoid sarcasm.
7. Avoid words like “always” and “never.”
8. If appropriate, tell the person how you feel about what was done
9. Give the person a game plan to fix the problem.
10. Affirm him or her as a person and a friend.
Positive confrontation is a sure sign that you care for a person and have their best interests at heart. Each time you build up your people and identify their problems, you give them an opportunity to grow.
The Plan of an Effective Leader
Now I will come to you when I pass through Macedonia . . . And it may be that I will remain, or even spend the winter with you, that you may send me on my journey, wherever I go . . . But I will tarry in Ephesus until Pentecost. For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries. ~ 1 Corinthians 16:5-9
Paul had a plan to reach the major cities of his day. In a conversational manner, he describes his plan to start in Macedonia, then move south to Corinth, and finally visit Asia Minor and the major port city of Ephesus, where “a great and effective door opened” to him.
Effective leaders don’t drift from one place to another. Paul had a plan to impact major cities that would in turn influence those who visited these cities. He focused on the metropolitan areas, knowing that well-trained followers would bring God’s message to the smaller towns and villages in the region.
Leaders can do anything, but they can’t do everything. Paul did not spend his energies haphazardly, but charted the course to reach the Roman Empire in his lifetime. What kind of plan do you have?